Breaking News: He Will No Longer Debate: She Has Been Unfair to Him

() wisecatYou hear it here first. He has decided that the debates have been traps set for him by her and her husband to make him look bad. He has told few people of his intentions but I’m privy to it.  After the first debate where the moderator skillfully worked to undermine him by letting her go off subject and subject him to scurrilous assertions he is no longer going to put up with this.

Going into the debate he had closed the gap between him and her to even-Steven. He had done this through tireless work presenting positions often on opposite sides of an issue which as he suggested would make America grate again. Unlike her he needed no preparation for the debate. He knew that as long as he ended each answer with the word beautiful he would be fine. He said he entered with a beautiful state of mind and offered a beautiful concession to her right off the bat saying in the unlikely chance she won the election he would not contest her win.

He realized that was a major error on his part for some snakes are beautiful but you cannot forget they are also deadly. He realized that during the debate when she brushed off his beautiful overtures and went down and dirty on him bringing up matters he thought were off-limits like the many bad things he had done. It became obvious to him that she had done a lot of preparation which was unfair in itself because he was out running around while she was home preparing. He wondered why the American people could not understand how unfair that is when one prepares they do better than one who doesn’t.

He ran through the litany of the unfair things she said he did. She said he stiffed contractors and other workers by putting his businesses into bankruptcy. She even brought one in to the audience who drew up the plans for one of his clubs but did not get paid. Being hit with that and not remembering who she was talking about he said he could only think of one thing to say which he did and that was the guy did a lousy job.

Then she brought up his taxes. He said how many times do I have to explain I’m being audited. Then she struck him with a low blow suggesting that he does not pay taxes. He could not figure out how she knew that except that the guy born in Kenya who runs things must have leaked his tax stuff to her through one of his cronies on the IRS. What could he say other than what he did? He said that not paying federal taxes was smart; he said he didn’t realize saying that he was impugning the actions of millions of American voters who do pay taxes by implying they were stupid for supporting the country.

Those things were bad but then she threw at him the women card. She went back to the comments he made about Rosie O’Donnell taking them out of context. Then out of the blue she brings up the beauty queen he had totally forgotten about. He worked hard and was able to bring back a vague recollection about who she is and what she did. What could he do? She double-crossed him. She set him up by laying a trap for him in front of eighty million voters.

He said the debates are not him against her as he agreed they would be. They are him against her, the moderator, the audience and the news media. She has too many people in the ring taking sucker shots and slugging away at him. How is that a fair debate?

He was always willing to go one on one. She wasn’t. There is no prospect that she will change. She’s the one not sticking to the bargain; she makes it impossible for him to continue. He’s not going to debate again with the stacks so high against him. He is also no longer bound to his statement he would support her if she was declared the winner.

He trusts in the good will of the beautiful American people to understand the debates are rigged. It is just another side of her that she is showing. He will work hard over the next month bringing his message of change to the people. He trusts they understand.

19 thoughts on “Breaking News: He Will No Longer Debate: She Has Been Unfair to Him

    1. wa-llahi! She’s blinking at Lester Holt in Morse Code! Very sinister. No wonder Glorious Leader made such an ass of himself!

    2. Don’t know about the signaling, but it would be odd if Hillary didn’t cheat. At every point in her life she has cheated. Why not in the debate?

      Cheating got her fired from her first job on Capital Hill. The magical disappearance of records and their more magical reappearance on a table in the White House was cheating. Cattle futures trading based on scanning the WSJ each morning for market reports that the newspaper didn’t carry was cheating. The Whitewater development was cheating. And, of course, she enabled her husband’s marital cheating by smearing women assaulted and raped by hubby Horn Dog.

      The actual evidence of signalling is ambiguous at most. Apply the legal maxim – falsus in unum, falsus in omnibus. Hillary has lied about more than one thing, therefore, it is reasonable to assume that she probably found a way to cheat. When her lips move she lies, why not the same for when her finger moves?

      1. Tadzio:

        You set out some of the reasons why I could not vote for her. There are many others not the least is that her running for office on the coattails of her husband goes against the Constitution intent not to have a person serve more than two terms which could keep the hands of the presidency in a family for decades.

  1. “Going into the debate he had closed the gap between him and her to even-Steven. He had done this through tireless work presenting positions often on opposite sides of an issue which as he suggested would make America grate again.”

    “Grate again”? Really?

    1. Grate

      The verb grate entered the English language in the fourteenth century by way of the French word grater, meaning “to scrape.” Using grate in this sense, you might grate your teeth or grate a carrot, meaning rub or pulverize.

      By the sixteenth century the word had taken on the additional meaning of “sound harshly” and “annoy.” This evolution makes sense if you think about it: If you’ve ever had anything really annoy you — “grate on your nerves” — it can almost seem as if a cheese grater has been applied to your nerves and is slowly ripping them to shreds.

        1. …if he wrote “graet”….maybe temporary dyslexia…but the letters are sufficiently spaced apart on the keyboard….I say intentional.

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