The Man Who Did Not Thank Trump For His Pardon.

I went out for coffee with a friend who works in DC the other day. He (the use of the masculine gender does not necessary reflect the gender of my friend) has some buddies in DC from whom he gets the skinny on what’s the deal with inside the White House and passes it on to me.  At least that’s what my friend tells me as he spins out stories. I tend to believe him because what he knows is usually verified sometime later.  I thought I’d share with you his latest inside scoop.

It seems Trump was on one of his rampages before going to the G7 meeting in Canada. Everyone who was not in the Oval Office with him hearing the commotion from inside suddenly remembered an appointment with someone outside and fled the White House like rats from a burning building. Most figured it was related to Trump’s displeasure at having to attend the meeting but upon investigation it turned out that was not the case. Here’s what happened.

Trump had a handful of papers in his hand and he was pacing back and forward in front of about a dozen people. He was ranting and reading from the papers: “Here’s one from Scooter Libby. It says, wait, here it is, “I can’t thank you enough for the recent pardon you gave me.” And here, from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, “you will never know how much I appreciate the pardon you gave me. You are the absolute best.” Those aren’t the only ones. Almost everyone has written to thank me except one person. Great letters. Beautiful letters from people who love me. Here’s one from Alice Marie Johnson, this, look at this from that Navy Seal, what’s his name, yeah, Kristian Saucier, wonderful words.”

My coffee mate said after Trump mentioned Saucier Trump he went back to his desk and came back with another letter. “This one is my favorite. It’s from Dinesh D’Souza. I want you all to read it. That is a man who appreciates what I did for him. “ He handed out the letter and stopped. He became really red in the face. “When I go out of my way to use the pardon power I expect to be thanked. Yet there’s one guy who didn’t have the decency to thank me. One guy out of all of them. Even Alice Johnson wrote in her humble way. I don’t expect much but I do expect a thanks.”

Everyone just stood there wishing he or she was some place out. The one with  D’Souza’s letter buried her head in it. The tension was palpable and weighed heavily on each one’s shoulders . Trump stared at them for a bit. He then turned and walked back to his desk. He sat down and appeared more calm. He then yelled: “All of you. Get out. Tell Huckabee to call Rudy Giuliani and ask him if I can take back a pardon.”  

My friend got that from a person who said he or she was present in the room at the time although I can’t vouch for that but as I said I’m just passing on what my friend said happened. I wouldn’t even be telling the story if I wasn’t assured by my friend that there were at least a dozen people in the office when this happened. The last thing I want to do is compromise my friend’s source.

Anyway I’m told that Sarah Huckabee was able to contact Giuliani and spoke to him. He told her that the president could do whatever he wanted to do so he could undo any pardon that he issued. Giuliani also said he wasn’t sure if he commuted a sentence and the person had been let out that he could undo that but he would look into it and see if the president wanted the person back in prison then he’d some how arrange it.

My friend started to talk about some other stuff. He sort of left me up in the air. I finally had to say, “so who was it?” My friend looked at me quizzically. I said: “who was it that didn’t thank the president.” 

“Oh,” my friend said. “It was Jack Johnson.” 

2 thoughts on “The Man Who Did Not Thank Trump For His Pardon.

  1. There is one thing that cannot be said about this fairy tale: “You can’t make this stuff up.” Clearly you can.

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